


King of the Castle and the Dirty Rascal

by Wearysea



Series: Loving Deceit Hours [6]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Baking, Cake, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Needs a Hug, Loving Deceit Hours, M/M, Multi, Remus has Intrusive Thoughts, Sibling Rivalry, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, so does remus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-18 12:07:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21510775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wearysea/pseuds/Wearysea
Summary: Remus and Roman have been rivals in everything they do for a very long time but for Deceit... they can learn to share.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit Sanders
Series: Loving Deceit Hours [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1521542
Comments: 33
Kudos: 216





	1. Affection Grows With Them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loving Deceit Hours - Deceit/Remus & Roman

Deceit had been around long before Remus was, and Roman for that matter, but they didn’t meet until much later.

At the time, Deceit, called “Snake”, had been a little miffed… or looking back, perhaps jealous would be a more fitting word to use. When both Creativity’s came into being, they’d taken over a good chunk of his job, making things up, and the worst part is that they were much better at it than he was. The best he could do was stories based off of reality, whereas they could make up things that were unique to Thomas’ mind, beautiful things.

So when a certain loudmouth urchin comes wandering into Snake’s walled off section of the unconscious mind, he has every intention of being mean, nasty, cruel and all the other things the other sides like to call him.

But he can’t.

Because this new side is _weird_.

He’s got tears in his eyes and a big bloody grin, and he doesn’t lie at all!

He’s the loud to Snake’s quiet, the unapologetic truth to Snake’s protected secrets, and Thomas doesn’t like him either.

Snake hides things Thomas doesn’t want to know, or wants other people to know, and Thomas doesn’t like him because of it. The Duke hides nothing. The Duke forces everything Thomas doesn’t want to think about to the forefront of his mind, forces him to think it through. Thomas can’t accept these thoughts. Thomas doesn’t like the Duke.

Not enough truth is bad, too much truth is bad. What is good? Is it real? Or is it just something Thomas made up?

The Duke is the same as Snake. Snake is the opposite of the Duke.

Snake is caught completely off guard.

After all the rejection he’d faced, all the fear of one and the disdain of the other, how can someone’s first reaction to him be: “You’re so pretty! Are those scales real? Please tell me they’re real, and your eye too! I like it. I like that you have lots of arms, that’s like me but I usually hide them because they get in the way! See!”

Not a hint of a lie.

This new side is **weird.**

“No, they aren’t real, and neither is my eye… I don’t like your arms too.”

“Cool! I wish I could have mine out all the time, but there’s just too many! Yours are nice though, just the right amount!”

It’s then that Snake realises that the Duke can tell when he’s telling the truth, just like he can tell when someone’s not telling the truth, and it makes him smile. The Duke understands him.

Duke tells him the other sides chased him away because he’d made one of them cry. He hadn’t meant to, he was just speaking his mind, how was that scary? The Duke didn’t want to be scary, he wanted to be truthful… He just wanted to be himself.

Being around Snake let him do that, and slowly Snake became more and more comfortable opening up to Duke and having him around. Which was just as well, because Duke had pretty much moved into Snake’s section, the subconscious’ capacity for imagination suited him far more than anything in the conscious mind, he could even influence Thomas’ dreams back here!

The Prince can’t do that! Ha! He can do something the Prince can’t! The Duke wins! And, the Duke gets to talk to the very pretty Snake _all the time_ , gets to hold his hand and smooch his face sometimes when he’s comfy with it. Sometimes Snake doesn’t like to be touched and sometimes Duke forgets to ask but Snake always forgives him.

The Duke gets to make the pretty, lovely Snake blush and hiss when he talks to him, and oh, that’s more beautiful than anything he or the Prince can create. The Duke loves it when his Snake gets all sweet and red, it makes Duke want to kiss his face off.

The first time the Duke tried to hold his pretty Snake’s hand he hadn’t even noticed he’d done it, but Snake had, and he had gone positively _rigid._ That had been a little scary, Duke got worried he’d done something wrong and Snake was going to be frozen forever and he’s lost his only friend and he’s going to be alone with only himself for the rest of Thomas’ life and he’d have to listen to his own voice god he hates his voice it’s worse than any nightmare he can dream up and talking to Snake and hearing his voice and him being nice to Duke is the only thing that makes it okay and now he’s gone-

“-uke? Duke? Please breathe for me? I’m right here and I’m okay, I’m not going anywhere. You aren’t going to be alone ever again, okay? Say it with me and breathe.”

“… I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Dukey, you can hold my hand, I just need you to ask first okay?”

“Okay.”

The Duke tried his best to remember, he hated it when he forgot, because a frozen Hissy was an unhappy Hissy, and he didn’t want his Hissy to feel bad, especially because of him.

The first time Duke kissed Snake was a very different affair.

Thomas had learnt what kissing was years before, when his parents did it, but he hadn’t thought much about himself kissing… or who he’d like to kiss. He didn’t know that two boys even could kiss before that morning, but he did know that the other boys talking about it thought that it was bad.

And if Thomas thought it was bad, then it was right up the Duke’s alley, and who else would he ask to try it with other than his pretty, hissy Snake. They already held hands and cuddled, this wasn’t too different, right?

Once Hissy had gotten over his nerves, he’d said it was okay for the Duke to kiss his cheek, but he didn’t specify how many times. Rookie mistake.

Duke pressed as many kisses as he possibly could to both of Snake’s cheeks, he had to remind himself that he needed to breathe as Snake’s embarrassed hissing slowly morphed into giggling.

Duke had never heard Snake giggle before.

Duke decided he wanted to hear Snake giggle for the rest of his life.

He told Snake that too.

The mixture of giggling and hissing was even better.

Years later, when Deceit has become Deceit, he meets “The Prince” for the first time, and he has every intention of ripping him a new asshole. Even if it’s been a long time since the Duke has cried over his brother, Deceit didn’t spend years witnessing his dear friend’s pain for him to be kind to the cause.

But he couldn’t carry out that plan either, at least, not in the way he’d wanted.

He insults him immediately, but he’s misunderstood just as fast, turns out that this side of Creativity doesn’t possess the same abilities as the other. He doesn’t understand him at all. For some reason Deceit finds this… endearing. Shit. He didn’t want to find the bastard endearing! He wanted to find him repulsive! Like how he treated Remus…

Deceit makes his getaway just as Logic turns up, making sure his presence wasn’t noticed he slipped back home, where his absence was definitely noticed.

“Hissy! Where did you go? You never go anywhere, I thought you weren’t going to come back! I thought I was going to be alone forever and ever and ever!”

Deceit didn’t have any ability to reply, being squeezed by every single one of Remus’ arms… along with some inappropriately placed tentacles. As his dear Duke cuddled him and vented his upset, Deceit took stock of the carnage his room had been left in. Oh, my, what was all that on the floor?

It appeared that Remus had decided he was going to hunt and eat like an octopus. In Deceit’s bedroom, leaving bloody half-eaten carcasses of what looked to be crustaceans, fish and perhaps another octopus. Again.

This was fine, they were in the mindscape, cleaning was easy for them. What wasn’t easy was calming Remus down, he’d worked himself up into a right state, snot and tears streaming down his face with no regard for his lungs as he talked and talked.

Poor Dukey, he was so sad and all Deceit could do was cuddle him back and say he was here and not going anywhere until he calmed down, which was unfortunately a common occurrence nowadays. You see, Remus was a little… clingy, after Virgil left, but Deceit couldn’t complain. He clung to Remus right back.

Deceit rarely left the subconscious, but he had… plans. He wanted to start talking to Thomas directly, and to do that he needed to engage with the closer sides, to start making enough real-world impact that they simply needed to address him in front of Thomas, but not yet, he had to be careful not to let the floodgates open and give everyone a way to push through and run amuck.

Virgil had done it, and done it well, but Deceit’s skill set was suited to a much more subtle approach, one that would take time to enact. Slowly making the acquaintance of the other sides that he hadn’t seen directly in years, or in the Prince’s case, having a first meeting.

But he won’t bother Remus with the details of his outing right now, he’s content to just let the slime of undeterminable sources seep into his clothes, his hair, his whole life too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Deceit first becoming friends with Remus and early interactions with Roman in the imagination – young kids to early teens.


	2. Cake is Better than Sex

The games Roman and Remus played together when they were children usually went like this:

Roman was playing royalty, and Remus wanted in on the fun, and tried to join.

From here, the game would either turn into a game of siege, Remus trying his best to break in to Roman’s concocted play-area in any way he could think of, and if he succeeded they would swap places – the phrase “I’m the king of the castle, get down you dirty rascal!” featured heavily in this particular game. If not siege, then it was “Fight the Dragon-Witch” which emerged from Roman and Remus not being able to agree on what the monster should be.

No one can say they didn’t know how to compromise.

Roman could admit to himself that he didn’t want to compromise in this particular instance, and it killed him to acknowledge that if it were to come down to it, he knew Deceit would choose Remus over him without hesitation.

Roman and Deceit had made each other’s acquaintance years ago now, but Remus had been romancing Deceit for years before Roman had even known about him.

Remus had an edge over him, so while he didn’t want to compromise and share paramours with his brother, he was going to have to suck it up and deal.

Deceit was most certainly worth it.

Since Roman had accidentally started courting Deceit, via an incident involving portrait painting, he’d been locked in a contest with Remus, particularly when Remus had actually found out that Roman was hitting on Deceit, or as Remus affectionately called him “My Pretty Hissy”. That gave him whiplash, he didn’t think Remus was capable of being affectionate.

Funnily enough, there was no ill will over the discovery, Deceit had told Remus straight away, so it wasn’t like they were sneaking around or anything. Remus’ philosophy on the whole thing seemed to be ‘Hissy is wonderful and deserves all the love, I would be offended if you didn’t want to woo him.’

So, they weren’t fighting for Dee to be the sole object of their affections, but they were fighting over who could love him _better_. They were constantly doing nice things for Deceit, spending time with him and just generally trying to one up each other with romantic gestures.

Deceit would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little exasperated by the constant attention… but he’d also be lying if he didn’t enjoy it. He always got flustered easily when someone genuinely tried to sweet talk him.

Deceit currently has a greenhouse off the side of his room solely for the purpose of housing the results of the Great Flower Off of 2019. He had to put them somewhere, it just wouldn’t do to throw all the bouquet’s away, now would it?

He liked to sit in there and play music while he looked at them, it made him feel so… loved. He’d never tell either of them but it did wonders for his self-esteem to have his two boyfriends fighting to make him happy. Boyfriends… huh, he’d never thought he’d have one, and he certainly didn’t think he’d have more than one. For it to be Roman was another surprise, however he truly had gotten closer with the self-proclaimed “light sides” over time.

He guessed that was all they needed.

Time.

… He’d been alone for a while today, that was never a good sign, for Remus or Roman, and doing his best Sherlock impression, he suddenly became convinced they were up to something.

They were, naturally.

Deceit knew nothing about Roman’s cooking habits but he was all too familiar with the monstrosities that come from Remus’ presence anywhere near a kitchen. Would you blame Deceit for losing all colour in his face at seeing a man who routinely eats raw meat cooking something he’d likely have to eat?

Roman seemed to be doing a good job at monitoring his wayward brother… in fact, they almost seemed to be working together.

That really did bring a smile to Deceit’s face, seeing them get along and working on a task together. They seemed to be baking? Deceit wasn’t going to interrupt them, so he hung back in the shadows.

“… Am I still doing it right?”

“You’re doing fine! Don’t worry about it, Dee will love it.”

“I can’t help it, Roman, every other time I’ve tried to do this it’s gone horribly wrong.”

“Heh, I thought you _liked_ ‘horribly wrong’.”

“Not when it comes to Hissy.”

“… well, you’ve got me to make sure it goes right. Neither of us want Dee to be unhappy.”

Oh… if Deceit’s heart hadn’t already been a puddle then that would’ve surely melted it. Remus sounded so nervous, something rare for his usually unabashed personality and to admit that he didn’t know how to do something to his brother? That was big, and Roman wasn’t making fun of him for it! He was showing him the correct way to cook and helpfully monitoring him to ensure he wasn’t going to mess up.

Deceit decided he’d seen enough, with no shenanigans to nip in the bud, he returned to his room for the time being. Now, what to do to pass the time? Deceit decides to pick up his sketchbook, he’d only picked up painting recently because, well, you don’t date both sides of creativity without developing some new hobbies.

Sometime later…“I can remember on my own, Roman!”

“He can, you know, he does knock most of the time.” Deceit doesn’t need to think about it to understand what they’re talking about. An over emphasised “shush” later and the other sides were entering Deceit’s room with a cake in their hands.

“Oh, my.” Is all Deceit can say as he sees the house from animal crossing in icing form, complete with little icing figures of the characters.

Animal crossing is one of Deceit’s more… private loves. It’s just so good, despite the rampant promotion of capitalism he can appreciate Tom Nook’s character penchant for dangling an end to the payments that will never come.

What? He’s Deceit, let him live.

Remus is grinning widely, like he usually does, and Deceit pretends he can’t see the nervousness that isn’t usually in his expression. “We made it together!”

“Well, it was Remus’ idea and he did most of the work. I just hung back and made suggestions.”

Remus looked so touched that Roman would do that for him, give him the credit when Roman had literally designed the cake and figured out how to put it all together AND micromanaged Remus (at Remus’ request) to make sure he did everything right.

Let it be said that despite his nature, Remus truly did love his brother.

Remus doesn’t hesitate to offer Deceit a piece, comically cut with Roman’s sword – much to Roman’s surprise – and a paper plate was shoved into Deceit’s waiting hand.

“I’ve already had some,” Roman tells Deceit “It’s fantastic.”

This causes Remus’ grin to morph into a more genuine smile. “I’m just happy someone actually likes my cooking for once!”

Remus can always tell when Deceit was telling the truth… and when he wasn’t. Deceit’s heart hurt. He really did love Remus, and he wished to the bottom of the Earth that he could compliment the literal fuck out of Remus genuinely. For both of their sakes.

Deceit takes a bite and immediately groans in pleasure, Roman gives Remus a swat for inappropriate laughter. Remus swats him back with his Morningstar. Roman falls over and laughs.

“It _is_ fantastic, Remus, you’re a marvel.”

Remus and Deceit are also suddenly on the floor, Deceit being squeezed in a big hug, Roman joins the hug in no time at all. The three spend a while just lying there and eating the cake. Remus playing Godzilla with the figures, Tom Nook’s head goes into his gaping maw first but Roman gets the bodies.

They can too learn to share.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When they're solidly all a V shaped poly couple.  
> The next chapter is going to be a Daily Life Compilation - selection of short scenes based in this universe about the relationship, if anyone wants something specific they'd like to see about their interactions then feel free to leave a suggestion *Hint* *Hint*  
> Edit: No one's sent me anything risqué but just to be clear as I didn't mention it before, no NSFW suggestions pls, as an asexual I don't write NSFW content - although I will write some tame ones hinting at sexual shenanigans


	3. The Most Imaginative Compilation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daily life with Deceit/Roman & Remus

** LunaticMentaly - (cuddles? A lot of cuddles? And softness? With a lot of fluffy blankets? Pwease?) **

Once Roman and Deceit got together as well, every so often, Remus would just announce “Cuddle pile!”, usually because someone, mostly himself, was upset or otherwise in need of affection. He was extremely keen on including Roman in this as seeing Hissy happy made Remus happy, and Roman made Hissy happy too.

They became so frequent that Roman set up a pillow fort in his room for exactly this purpose. Filled to the brim with softest pillows and blankets for the maximisation of comfort. One of Roman’s proudest achievements, at least that’s how he felt while listening to Remus’ latest ghost story as they duel-cuddled their slightly teary boyfriend.

This time it was Dee that needed some love. Remus wished he could influence the other side;s dreams, if only for the ability to prevent Hissy from having nightmares. As things stood, he could only influence Thomas’ unconscious mind.

Oh, well, the cuddling was a pretty sweet deal, despite the drawbacks.

As Remus’ story drew to a close, he lay down from his sitting position and planted a big kiss on scaly side of Deceit’s face, in response to which Roman gave the human side of Deceit’s face – which naturally resulted in a kiss-Dee’s-face war between the two brothers.

Remus usually called dibs on sitting on Dee’s left, as he always wanted to kiss and cuddle the side with the snake-like features. “The even prettier” side of Dee, as he liked to say, usually with an awestruck tone of voice. Roman had no preference, really, he thought Deceit was equally gorgeous no matter what part of him you looked at.

Deceit appreciated both of them equally too, as well as all the cuddle parties they had.

** Sleeping in the buff – Roman’s Struggle **

Roman has absolutely no interest in seeing his brother naked, unfortunately that doesn’t mean he won’t have to anyway.

You see, Remus always, without fail, sleeps in the buff.

This wasn’t a problem for Dee, who had been dating him for years and actively liked seeing Remus naked, however it was a problem for his brother, who was decidedly not dating him.

Dee was sympathetic to his plight, when he wasn’t giggling at him, so usually he tried to keep Remus in private before he got dressed for the day but Remus wasn’t a force to be controlled against his will. There were times that Remus just walked around nude, ‘physically sending nudes’ he called it. ‘Flashing unsuspected victims’ Roman called it. ‘Aesthetically pleasing’, Deceit called it.

Roman realised it was just an occupational hazard of sharing a datemate with his sibling.

** Literal Trash Man **

Remus becomes aware of the fandoms lovely nicknames for him. Trash man being his favourite.

It’s hours later when Roman sticks his head into Remus’ room with a question dying on his tongue when he spots an overflowing industrial sized dumpster, Remus sat in the middle of it munching some unknown likely-to-be-disgusting thing.

“I’m telling Dee you’ve been eating trash.”

“NOOOO! He won’t let me kiss him until I’ve cleaned my protruding mouth bones with the goop-paste!”

It’s anyone’s guess who reaches who first.

** amethystfairy – Can we get more Deceit in his greenhouse? **

Deceit can absolutely not hear Roman and Remus yelling about underwear outside of the greenhouse.

He picks up a tulip he’d grown, having acquired up yet another hobby from his boyfriends and lets his mind wander to the symbolism of flowers. The most significant meaning of them was ‘perfect love’, an endearing thought to him. They all had many flaws but Deceit felt that the notion itself fit them. He wouldn’t change either of them for the world.

Deceit continues to definitely not notice and grow extremely irritated at the literal underwear war that was raging next to one of the walls of his greenhouse, bordering on Remus’ room.

Different colours of tulips carried their own meanings, this particular tulip in Deceit’s hand was purple, the meaning of this being royalty. Deceit chuckled, it was rather ironic that neither side of creativity had a purple theme. Looking to his left, he picks up a red tulip. Those were strongly associated with true love, which fitted him to a T. Green tulips don’t exist but the Green Tulip is an action performed in a strip club involving a dollar bill and a strippers butthole. Perfect for Remus.

True to form, yellow tulips are a little odd. They used to mean hopeless love, though that changed over time to mean cheerful thoughts and sunshine. Deceit hoped that could fit him… white tulips had a dual meaning, depending on context. They could be used to claim worthiness, or to send a message of forgiveness. That seems about right,

Deceit holds up a white tulip to Remus and Roman as they come crashing through the imaginary glass wall, simple to fix but Deceit would rather not have to.

“How did we get here?”

“I had two popsicle sticks and now I’m a walrus.”

“Okay.”

  
**Next two will be heavily hinted NSFW**

** Bubble Baths **

Remus had come up with the idea when Thomas was in his late teens. It was mostly because he’d never seen Deceit naked and he really, really wanted to see Deceit naked.

He thought maybe if they were focusing on something else then Hissy would feel less nervous about his body? It was worth a try.

Deceit said it had to be a bubble bath, a big one, and Remus ran with that.

Deceit got a little quiet once Remus pulled him into the bathroom, so Remus waited a while to get things going. He backed him against the wall and started kissing all over his face, like he usually did, to get him all relaxed and happy before they start.

He slowly moved down to kissing his neck, smiling as he felt Dee shivering against him, shifting into a soft moan when Remus began to suck and nibble at his throat.

“… So gorgeous.”

Deceit flushes just about everywhere there is to flush, he always does when Remus gets a little raunchy. It’s so sweet to Remus, how shy his Hissy gets when he’s given some love.

He was so beautiful. Remus wanted to see all of him; to love all of him. He pressed his forehead to Deceit’s and asked “Can I see you, Hissy.”

“I would not… like that.” Deceit manages to get out, trying his best not to melt into a puddle. Remus went ahead with Deceit’s affirmation, there was never a point where he didn’t understand his unique way of speaking, being the uncomfortably and uncontrollably honest side that he was.

He continued smooching Deceit’s face as he slowly pulls up his shirt, watching for any discomfort or signs he should stop. Remus didn’t receive any and soon enough Deceit was wordlessly holding his arms above his head to aid Remus in removing his clothes.

Remus doesn’t look at him right away, more concerned in keeping Deceit comfortable, he continues the kisses as soon as there isn’t fabric in the way of his Hissy’s gorgeous face, only pulling away once Deceit’s shoulders relaxed for the first time since they entered the bathroom.

Remus really wanted Deceit to like this just as much as he would, y’know?

He steps back a bit, finally, to get a good view of Deceit’s chest. Hot damn. Has Remus ever mentioned how much he loved Hissy’s scales? Because he does, so very, very much. They’re so fucking pretty he could die happy with the knowledge that he can caress his hands over them and make Dee shiver in delight at the feeling.

He takes a moment to note the state of Deceit’s wrists, now that he’s noticed the cuts, he’ll make sure to talk to him properly about that later.

Now is for making Deceit feel good.

Now is for the pants.

Huh, he really was like a snake down there.

Excellent.

Years later Remus would grin to himself, smug in the fact that he’d gotten to see their shared boyfriend nude years before his brother had… even if it ended with them getting distracted and fucking around with bubbles and rubber ducks instead of each other.

Then immediately tease his brother over it.

** The Classic Anime Reaction  **

The first time Roman saw Deceit naked was incredibly embarrassing on Roman’s part. Being the side whose gimmick involved romanticism, he sure was a hot mess when it came to actual romance involving himself.

He had talked about it with Deceit well in advance, who was incredibly shy about undressing for Roman because, despite him and Remus being at the suggestive eyebrow wiggle stage of their relationship for a long time at that point, relationships don’t fix body image issues and Roman was _new._

But Deceit wasn’t the one who freaked out. That was Roman.

Why was it Roman?

Roman has questions too.

All he knew was that when he got Deceit’s shirt off, he froze, blood dripped down his face and he keeled over. Roman came to around 45 minutes later to a very flustered Dee and a very amused Remus poking him with a stick.

“Are you alright, Roman?”

Looking back at Deceit with a dreamy look on his face, Roman says only “Miraculous” before passing out again.

Remus will joke about “the sight of Deceit’s glorious upper torso being able to knock a side out cold” for years to come, much to Roman’s chagrin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was so fun! Thank you everyone who gave me suggestions, I enjoyed all of them :)


End file.
